Sometimes in life, you aren’t looking for a full-service restaurant. Sometimes in life, you aren’t looking for that four-course meal or that array of beautiful-looking food. Sometimes damn it, you just want a nice big juicy burger. Me being part of the unofficial official League of Burger Eaters, have recognized and accepted this fact, and embraced this with open arms. The latest entry is Big Fred’s Roast Beef located in the hidden outskirts of Clearwater. This spot is small, consists of a few tables, and doesn’t have the pizzazz of your upper-scale eateries.
However, all this is forgotten once you pound your taste buds against their burgers. This place has been running for several years, but received a few ounces of notoriousness after being featured in a Jeremiah Weed commercial. Big Fred’s consists of a massive burger challenge that has literally conquered every person ever since its inception. The closest anyone has gotten is halfway. Then again, when a burger has a five-pound patty and 10 slices of bacon, chances of ever conquering are smaller than the I.Q. of the Orlando Magic's GM. I decided to give the place a try not for the challenge, but to take on their “smaller” burgers. Me and Michael had no idea what we were throwing ourselves into.
Inside, the place has a few tables, a few chairs, a small kitchen, and an ishload of pictures sprinkled all over the place, full of happy smiles and happy faces. The menu is quite extensive for your average burger joint, although technically it’s a sandwich restaurant first. I decided to go for the Big Kahuna Burger ($13), which consists of three one-pound burger patties, followed by an avalanche of cheese and bacon. Michael ordered the Patriot Burger ($9.50), which was a one-pound patty with lettuce, cheese, and thousand-island dressing. We waited a short time for our burger, not totally aware of the monstrosities we have just ordered. And we forgot these things come with fries too.
The burgers were ready but before we were able to pick them up, Big Fred himself offers to take a picture of us with the mammoth structures. Lets just say we could see our food from a mile away. We posed, smiled, and took our heavy patties to the table. This is not the biggest burger I have ever seen, but this is the biggest burger I personally have ever fought. The result was absolutely fantastic. Its one thing to deliver such a big burger, but its another thing to cook it perfectly well, not burn any parts of it, and manage to preserve most of the juices of the meat. The buns surprisingly had an easy time maintaining the patties within the burger, but didn’t add much flavor the the spectacle. The cheese and bacon however were perfect compliments; as the cheese was gooey goodness, and the bacon came out thick yet manageable. I forgot we had fries too.
Michael’s burger, two pounds lighter, was also a mammoth quest more than a lunch. He had a great time consuming, but a miserable time finishing. These tall tale giants were kicking our arses into the last time a Florida team won a championship. My goal quickly diminished from eating the entire burger to just eating half of it and leaving the rest for witnesses to observe and marvel. Michael’s goal was to try to finish most of it and keep his dignity intact. Don’t get me wrong, it was a darn good burger, but holy mackerel was it an adventure to maneuver through. Most fascinating thing about my burger was that it was never too messy, everything was kept intact. And I forgot the tries.
Bottom Line: Like I said, come over here if you are looking for a fantastic burger, nothing more, nothing less. When you feel like engaging in patty on mouth action (shut up perverts) look no further than Big Fred’s Roast Beef. My cheeseburger here emerges as one of the 10 best I’ve ever had, as its nice and high on the Burger Scale. I know the name mentions roast beef, but everyone comes here for their mammoth burgers. We did, Jeremiah Weed did, and you should too. Just leave guilt at the door before stepping in, because you will be sinning heavily.
And I forgot the fries....
Verdict: Recommend.
Big Fred's Roast Beef
2169 N Hercules ave,
Clearwater, FL 33763
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